Saturday, November 29, 2008

Part 14 life goes to hell

Before I get in to the story I've got to let you know that I will be shortening this up for a couple three reasons. 1. I thought I would be done with this in no more than a week and it has been a month. 2. I thought I would be okay with telling this but as I get in to the darkest part of my life I'm reluctant to put it down for you to see, I'm sorry I thought I would be okay with it but I will put in as much as I can, and still sleep at night. and 3. I have things that I had planed for this blog and I'm getting frustrated not getting them out here! So I will end this story over the next few posts so I can get on with the blog I want. I hope you understand.

I ended up getting back together with my wife. The "Wittiness" to me beating her quickly moved out of town for some reason....... We ended up moving over to her parents place after I lost my job. And our drug use started to get worse by the day and so did our fighting. She once again tried to get me arrested for beating her, but this time she had no witnesses and I had her mother and father as witnesses. She was made to leave and I was told to stay. This did not set well with her (I can't imagine why?) So she decided that it was time for us to split the sheets. I had a better idea. I told her that she could have everything as long as she left me the fuck alone!. I moved in with some friends but instead of quiting drugs I found myself selling them and being a go between or a runner for drugs. I would get some extra from the person I bought it from and the person I bought it for I was in the win win end of the deal. The more the person wanted the bigger my take. I was at times getting ounces of meth with a street value of $1,000 an oz. as my cut. I at one time used 18 oz. of it for a pillow. Just to make sure no one got in to it. I was getting pretty big in the dealing of this drug I knew all the big cooks and dealers in the area I could always find it no matter what time of day or night. I would even make deals up for the people who supported there habit by steeling, And I think that this is what started to way on me. I really don't like the idea of steeling and I was around and even called a few of these people friends. But they were always getting caught and that would always make you wonder what kind of info were they going to be telling the cops. You can never trust a thief that is facing jail time and a drug addiction. They could tell the cops your whole story and that could really put a damper in your day.

Next part 15 The beginning of the end.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Part 13 un-lucky 13

So I got a job close to are place at a service station (here in Oregon you can't pump your own gas in less you belong to a club type of station) My boss and I both were doing meth and crank and smoking pot. So it wasn't long before I became the second in charge there.

One night I was thinking about all of are couples friends and how all of them were braking up. And that the one thing they had in common was meth. I thought about this then brought it up to my wife. She thought I was crazy, but I kept thinking about it and after a few more days I told the wife that we were going to have to quit the meth it was hurting our relationship and I didn't want us to go down the tubes. This was a bad idea!!. the next night as I was getting of from work the police showed up and arrested me. I wasn't even told what for in tell we were almost to the jail. I was being arrested for beating my wife? I looked at that cop like he was nuts. He said that she had filed charges and that some guy had been a witness to the whole thing and when he told me who the witness was I told him "Joe smith?" "I don't know no Joe Smith" "I know a Joe Jones though" They said that this smith guy lived in a van next to us. I said "that is Mr. Jones" The two cops looked at each other and that is when I think they new they had been had.
I was in jail for a few days before I could get bailed out. Thank god my sister knew better than to believe that I would hit a woman.. even on drugs that would not happen.

I mean I should not of been there in the first place when all of this was supposed to of happened I was at work, with 3 cameras on me.And she had the truck.
But to save time (and my sister was there for this part) My ass hole...Oops my Lawyer said I should cop a plea to Menacing. I told him that he wanted me to swear under oath that I hit my wife? then told him that my uncle Chuck would roll over in his grave if I did that!
But it was either that or a year long fight that I had a chance of losing. so I took the deal.

Tomorrow pt. 14 life goes to hell!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Part 12 The thumb gets better thanks to me.

So I was told that I would be off work for 9 mths to a year while my thumb healed.
After three months this not working was getting old. But I could not bend my thumb but a hair. So I took one of those foam footballs (Now this is an American football, pointed at both ends ok.) I cut one end off and when I went rock hunting I would put that in my hand and push on it with my thumb. I was starting to spend more and more time on the river that ran 100 feet from my door. And the dog was loving it, the weather was getting nice and I was always high so the dog was always busy. And I think that as long as she was with me she was happy.
I would spend hours and hours on the river looking for rocks and playing with that dog.My wife had gotten a job printing Tee shirts in town so there was some extra cash coming in.

After about a month using the tip of the football I had a doctors appointment.
He was just doing a check up to see how it was healing. He was surprised at the range of motion I had in my thumb. And asked what I had been doing. When I told him he just shuck his head, I asked what was wrong and he said that The insurance company will be glad to hear that. He said that if I kept that up he would not send me to physical therapy. If any of you have ever been to that before you know how big of a smile I had on my face. The last time I went there I wanted to kill them.....all of them!!. He then said it would save the workers comp company thousands of dollars and that he was going to recommend that to his other patients with similar problems. So it ended up that at 6mths to the day I was released to full duty. A full 3mths early if it went really well. And besides hurting when it gets cold I have no trouble with it. It is a little funny shaped from where it blew out on one side and the nail did not attach on the outside corner but I would have to show that to you for you to notice so I am real happy with that.

Tomorrow part 13... un-lucky 13

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Part 11 b It all goes out the window

So I met up with his wife and we tried some of what she had, then she broke out a glass pipe and asked if I wanted to smoke some? I had never even heard of smoking it! We always snorted it. And it burned like holy hell. So I tried smoking it but I was high already and didn't really notice anything, I wasn't impressed to much by smoking it. So I took what I had bought and headed home. I was crossing a bridge when it hit me, I thought I was going to pass out. When I got home I told my wife about smoking it and a little later we went back over to there house so she could try it. Well that was it we started smoking it more and snorting it less. And it seemed that the more I bought from these guys the cheaper it got. And then I was making up my own bags with there stuff. They wouldn't even check to see if I was cheating them or not. I never did I had to be able to live with my self and that would of made it hard. The guy that lived in the trailer next door also was in to meth and he made his own pipes. We got to be good friends and he taught me how to make pipes. it was really kind of easy. the only real trick was getting the glass tubing.
But when there is a will you find a way. I found a glass store in Portland that sold it in 4' tubes and they were only $5 I could make between 5 to 7 pipes out off one tube. and sell them for $8 to $10 a piece. So I was doing that and was also doing some trading and repair work on pipes and started to get really good at doing that. But the more meth I smoked the less crank I wanted to mess with. Meth was the better of the two, and it was getting more and more a part of my everyday life. I was only about 3 months in to rehab on my thumb and was still getting paid really well. I started walking my dog for hours at a time on the river bank. I would take my drugs and a pipe with me and just stay out for half the day at a time. My dog was a yellow lab, a water dog that was afraid of the water. One day I went out on a gravel spit looking for rocks. She was on the river bank and going nuts because she wasn't at my side, but would not get in the water. So after listening to her whine for a bit I told to get her but over here. Well that dog loved me like I was her father, so she just jumped in and came over. That was it she was a water dog from that point on.

Tomorrow part 12 the thumb gets better thanks to me!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Part 11 It all goes out the window

So I paid the doctor her $5 and she then sent me to see a hand specialist. They said it needed more help than they could do there. I spent over two hours in there with him messing around with my thumb, I remember him trying to give me a Novocaine shot and having to go get a different needle. My wife was there and when he left the room I asked her why he needed a different needle. She said that the one he was trying to use would just bend and not go in. He came back to the room and said "I can tell you work with your hands... Duhhh. I always wished I would of asked him what he worked with, but at the time I really didn't want him pissed at me. He had to sew my thumb nail back in because it would not stay put, it kept popping back out. He thought I was crazy because I would laugh every time it popped out. Then he tried to move the bone pieces around a bit wrapped it up and was going to send me on my way... but I had to be a smart ass. I told him he had a racket going on here. he asked why I would say that. I told him it only took 1 second to fuck my thumb up and it took him hours to put it back together. Now he thought that was funny, as we were leaving I heard him telling that to his nurse.

So for a week I was unable to work. Then I was on light duty, nothing over 2 pounds with either hand. So I was walking around marking burnt out lights for a week. Then on Friday I was called in to the office, I wasn't worried though everyone was being called in one at a time over the radio. So I knew I wasn't in trouble and I knew I wasn't getting canned because you never can some one while they are on workers comp. So I went in .....And was told that my job was gone and that every Buddy's job was gone. The mall had been bought out...CASH. we all got our last three weeks pay and I got a 2 month kicker check.
I was worried then, who would hirer a guy with only one hand? I came home and went straight for a bottle of rum I had in the fridge. Took a long drink and put it back and my wife then knew something was wrong. I told her that I and every one else had lost there jobs today. I told her we had plenty of money but not enough to make it in tell my thumb was back to normal. The doctor said it would be 9 months to a year, because I had done so much damage.

I called workers comp and they told me I was now on 100% disability in tell I was released to go back to work with no restrictions.So I was going to be getting paid really well while I was healing, and I had about $4,000 as a kick. We went on a week long vacation, stayed so high we might have slept two times over that week. Then came back and I got me a dog, this dog was the greatest thing I could of done for my self while trying to heal. She gave me something to do and that was always better than doing nothing.

One day I was going to get some gas and pulled in to the station and the guy pumping the gas and I had talked a few time just Small talk. He wanted to show me some coins he picked up from a customer. they were in a plastic folder. I opened it up and there was a small bag with about $30 worth of crank in it. I told him he should be more careful with his drugs. he turned white. I told he got lucky in that I also did them, he gave it to me and said that if I wanted more I could get it from his wife. and gave me her phone number.

Part 11 b it all goes out the window will be tomorrow.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Part 10, we find Meth to be better

I had switched jobs after a year and a half at the dairy job. I got another Maint. tech job that was in Willsonville Oregon. We were just doing crank once and awhile in the week and on the weekends, thinking we had it under control. With these drugs you always think you have control, control over it and every thing else that you are doing. I did some side work for a guy at the complex, and when I finished he brought me in his shop and drew me a line of Christal meth. I snorted it and it burned like hell! but with in minutes I was a happy camper. I bought a line from him and took it to my wife. I asked her to try it and see what she thought of it.

I wasn't long before I had 4 or 5 people I could buy it from. But we were still doing it mainly on weekends. Then we noticed that the sex was getting better with this new drug. Who doesn't want better sex right?. I met this guy who sold both Meth and Coke, He stopped by one night and wanted to turn a bunch of coke into crack. He was out of meth but that was okay we weren't. so I was dead set in the "I will not do crack" I had tried that once in Houston and found that it was way to good to be messed with. But he gave us about a 1/4 oz. of coke for our troubles and left. After he left we were finding crack all over the kitchen. We found close to an 1/8 of an oz. and just used that as trading stock for weed. Things were tail spinning out of control and I just couldn't or wouldn't see it.

I was getting edgy with work and I was not putting up with the small stuff that every job has. I would call them on it, and finally I had, had enough and quit that job after just over a year and got a really good job at one of the biggest malls in the state. We moved to Canby Oregon in our trailer to a trailer park. And things were go well again. Christmas's came and went I was really liking my job and they were liking me my drug use started to drop off and the meth use stopped. And about a month later I was putting our scissor lift way when the left side cage folded when it shouldn't have. I ripped my thumb nail out by the root and crushed my thumb on my left hand. Yes it hurt like hell, but pain and I knew each other well so I didn't freak out. I just wrapped my other hand around my thumb and went looking for my boss. I told him what had happened and he asked to take a look at it..... That was not an option I told him it would be spraying blood all over the mall in front of customers. So right across the street from us was an urgent care hospital, so we headed over there.

They cleaned it up and were going to take some x ray's . I told the doctor that I had already broke that bone so it was not going to be broke, she said I don't know that's a pretty nasty wound. So being the smart ass that I was I bet her $5 that it wasn't broke, and headed down for the x ray's. When the intern handed me the x rays I asked him if it was broke? he told me he wasn't qualified to say. I said that I was and pulled them out and held them up to the light. I counted 8 pieces. I turned to him and said well it looks broke to me, he agreed. Then I said damn. I owe the doc five bucks... he laughed as I walked back to the room.

Tomorrow part 11 it all goes out the window

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Taking a day off

I'm going to take a day off from this tale. I need a break and this is a good time to do it. I may change my mind as soon as I gets some coffee in me but for now, This is what you get.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Part 9 New job/ new wife

his is where I make one bad choice after another but here it goes.... lets hope that telling this isn't another one.

I got a new job working at a dairy, we processed dairy products there, but there were no cows, it was all trucked in. I loved the work I was doing at first the receiving off milk 2 days a week and then working in the cooler, and the other 2 days I was just in the cooler. I would relieve the gallon filler line for brakes . That was fun and fast paced. And as things always go people move on to other jobs and so soon I was on that line. We worked 4 10 hour days and had three days off. I was running in town a couple days a week to see my Aunt who owned a shop in town. One day while working on a sewing machine I met one of her employees. she seemed nice and soon we started dating. I had been pretty much drug free for a year, not that I was trying to quit just didn't have time to chase it down. But she loved to smoke pot, and we would get high and stay that way in tell I had to go to work. This was one job you could not do stoned. It was very demanding on you physically. I was in great shape, lifting 8 pounds of milk in each hand as fast as I could run the machine and still get the jugs full. I was doing about 10,000 gallons of milk and 4,000 gallons of juices a day. Not a good time to be stoned.

I wont go in to the reason I made my girl friend quit her job but I will say that even to this day I will not do more than say hi to my Aunt, and in tell I hear an "I'm sorry" from her I will not have anything to do with her.

So I was working at a good job with good pay and the hours started to increase. I was working 4 13 hour days and was get overtime pay. My girl friend and I decided to get married and about that same time one of us found a connection for a drug called CRANK. Now Crank is so close to the drug meth that they say it is just one molecule away. I'm not sure that is all true but they cut crank with so much crap its hard to tell. So as our wedding was approaching we were using Crank a lot that is a drug I found I could do while at work. It also puts you in a really good mood.
So you never wanted to say no to more hours ... hell you could work for days on end if you had this stuff, no need to stop and eat.... and that is one of the things that makes this drug so dangerous. you are starving your body of proteins, and vitamins while feeding it an artificial adrenalin. The only thing you would need to stop for is a smoke break and a chance to re up your drug in take.

On the night before our wedding we scored a bunch of Crank and I was up all night and stayed up through the wedding. Then drove to the coast for our honey moon, stayed up all night and the next day with my new wife sick as a dog. She had a disease called Mainers disease. And it was like being car sick for days. And I stayed up with the help of the Crank and took care of her for three more days. The only time I left her side was to go get more drugs.

Tomorrow part 10 we find meth to be better.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Special bulleton this is where it gets ugly

I am now getting to the part that is a very ugly time in my life. I am not proud of the things I did while trying to get though this time. But I'm not afraid to tell it either. If it helps one person in anyway, then telling it will be worth it. I want you to under stand that the drug use you have read about so far was just a warm up for a full blown addiction. The drugs I use from here on are the types that you really can't understand the addiction in less you try the drug.... that would be a mistake on your part. Meth can grab you the first time you use it. And if it does the ride you will take is all down hill. This drug was made by one of Hitlers Doctors, and was used widely by him and his men. He sent to the Japanese but they seen it for what it was and did not use it.It has been reported that Hitler started using it in 1939 the start of WWII. and he was insane at the time of his death in 1945. This rings true with what I have seen when people use this drug with needles. I was lucky in the fact that I only have 2 fears in my life, one is the last time I say goodbye to my Daughter will be the last time I do (but I always say it and I tell her I love her also just in case). The other is NEEDLES. I have seen people towards the end of my drug use lose their minds and there will be some of them in here. The main purpose of the whole story is three fold. One to get people to understand and get the real truth about this drug and what it does to you mind body and soul. Two, to let my friends ....and my family know that I am so done with that part of my life and that I love them for giving me the chance to be in their lives again. And three, I think I needed to do this for myself. I have been clean from drugs for 6 years 4 months and 26 days... not that I'm counting. This was supposed to be just another post but I seemed to go a little deeper in to this than I had planed so I will re-name this and this will be the post for today. not what I had planed but I'm good with it anyway.

So it will be tomorrow that I post part 9 New job/ New wife

Monday, November 10, 2008

Pt 8c Saying goodbye

So Connie was telling me that her new husband had gotten a job in Alaska and they would be moving up there..... I went in to shock. I don't ever think I ever let her know just how much that shook me up. I new that I could fight it and I knew that doing so I would more than likely lose, and just drive a wedge between Connie and I. That I did not want to happen, Sarah and I were so close, So I let them go. What I didn't realise was that it wasn't just my heart braking when I said goodbye, But the bigger part of my give a shit got on that plane with them. I slowly started down a path that would play the biggest part in making me in to who I am today. Its just to bad that I took the path that I did instead of the path that would of gotten me here years sooner. But I'm here now and that is what counts in my book... and it is my book.

So not long after my world went to Alaska I was offered a new post with the company. They were opening a new store on the coast and wanted me to take that store. And so I did my kid was gone so I had no reason not to. So I packed up and moved down to Booking's Or. Now while I was at the other store I had gotten all the raises I was aloud and 2 incentive raises. So I was making more than the higher pay scaled Portland area managers. This new store was non-union so as the store was nearing its open date I started having trouble get help from my bosses, then I quit hearing from them all together. The store was not going to be ready and I could not even get a reply from them. This was really pissing me off, So I sent them an e-mail telling them that I was really disappointed in there lack of response and that I was quiting in 2 weeks, which would be right after the grand opening. I then made copy's of all my communications with them over the time that we had a way of communicating, and took them home that night. Four days before the open date my bosses showed up. Now we had been friends for nearly five years so I wasn't afraid to speak my mind to them, and at that point I don't think it would of mattered. I asked them what the fuck was the deal and there reply was that they were bringing in a new manager and that I was going to be replaced......DUHHHHH. I had already turned in my notice. Then they handed my my final pay check and searched everything I was taking out of the store with me...... I was not new to there tactics, that is why I took all the documents home that night I turned in my notice.

So I moved back to Salem, and filed for un-employment....and was denied. No shocker there the company always fought paying the benefits. But I was an ass hole by then my give a shit was gone and I was just plain ol pissed off. So I filed for an appeal. The employment office asked if I had any proof to what I was claiming and I told them I had the copy's of my attempts to communicate with them, and they asked me to bring them in so they could copy them and go over them. Now the employment office was only about two miles away from where I was staying, so I just got on my bike and took them down, had them copy them and got on my bike and headed home. As I got to the carport my friend came out and said that the employment office was on the phone. I thought I had forgot something, or they needed more information.... boy was I wrong. The man on the phone said he had just skimmed the first few pages and call my bosses to ask a few questions and he said the only thing they didn't lie about was there names. My case was won and his advice was to make them pay every penny, and that he was sending the case up to the main office and sending it to the labor board. the had been hearing about there tactics but had never had any way to prove it ... tell now!

tomorrow part 9 new job/ new wife

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Pt8b Moving/ Saying goodbye

So as I started my first week there I was asked not to do any stripping or waxing, they just wanted me to get to know the store.That was hard the store looked like shit and I had all this stuff to make it look good. But like the good little boy I did as asked, but they didn't say I couldn't buff the floors. So I did and my bosses came in the next night and the first thing out of there mouths was "I thought we agreed that you weren't going to lay any wax down" I smiled and said "I haven't put any wax down.....YET" They were really amazed at how the floor looked. The said that they should of brought me in there 6mths ago when they first thought about it......I kept my mouth shut because they had asked me to and I turned it So I was given the go ahead to start putting the store in shape they said that out of 127 stores its appearance was rated at 123. they wanted it to be in the 60's in 9 months. I was also put to the task of getting rid of the employees. But we were union so it had to be done right. So over the course of 6 months I got rid of all but one. And when the bosses came down and asked why he was still there I told them flat out. "I will not fire him, He comes to work everyday he tries his best and brakes a sweat trying to keep up. he stays" They weren't to keen on the idea and asked me to have a talk with him about picking up his speed. I agreed but my mind was set and I was prepared to go to bat all the way for him. When I talked to him about picking up his speed he told me that he could not go any faster and that his feet were always cold. I asked if he had been to a doctor about this and he said that he had. The doctor told him there was nothing wrong with him. I told that he needed to go back to his doctor and tell him either he finds out what is wrong with him or he would find a doctor that would. The next week he came in with a note from his "New" doctor that said he was going to need 6 weeks of to recover from surgery. He looked at me and said, "the doctor found that I have 2 veins in my abdomen that are 90% blocked and he thinks they have been that way since birth". "I have to have 9" replaced" He was happy and scared that he was going to lose his job, I told him that the union would not allow that to happen and that he had 2 health plans that would pay him while he was recovering and got the information for him. When he returned from his recovery he pulled me aside and with tears in his eyes he said that he could not thank me enough for what I did for him. he said that for the first time that he could remember his feet were warm. And let me tell you guys some thing after he got back in to the work routine he could keep up with me and not even brake a sweat. He was the best employee I have ever had.

Then one day I got a phone call from the ex wife. and my world was about to fall apart. That will be tomorrows post. pt 8c Saying goodbye

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Pt 8 Moving/Saying good bye

First let me just say I went to bed at my old bed time for the third night in a row and was awake by just after 11 pm. This sucks. I haven't been able to get back on my schedule since that damn spider bite. So I'm going to start this and hopefully get sleepy and go back to bed.

Now when I left off I was done with the Chiropractors and had gotten a job. I worked that job for some time and really liked it I was getting better pay and better hours in tell I had the hours I wanted. The owner of the station was getting ripped off by his other employees, he new this and I new this but he could not figure out how..... So I did. I figure I was saving him from $500.00 to a thousand dollars a week. and that is what he agreed to when I brought it up and asked for a fucking $0.50 raise and he refused. So soon after that I got a job working at a major chain store here in the Northwest. I worked graveyard As a glorified janitor. The work was fun and I had a good boss. and in a few months maybe 6 or 7 I was the assistant manager. I was offered a couple of manager spots at other stores but was really happy there and was really getting good at waxing and stripping the floors, and two days a week I was the one in charge of keeping up the store and making sure the wishes of the manager was done correctly. I was growing my hair out once again and I don't think the whole time I was there did he ever call me by my name, it was always Hippie. It wasn't a tease it was just a nick name.

Finally I was asked to take over the Albany stores Building service maintenance (BSM) and I thought that if I didn't I wouldn't get another offer, I felt I was ready and had been for a long time so I asked if I could tour the store and see what I was getting my self into. They agreed and we went down to take a look. The grocery dept. was open 24 hours a day which was new for me and presented a few challenges. But as I walked the store I was think to my self... Crap! if I take this store I will look like a god in less than a month. I went to one of the 2 storage rooms and there must of been enough stripper and wax to do the whole store twice....and I think there was all but a few buckets of wax. So when the tour was over they asked me if I still wanted the job. I tried to look un-pleased (that is my word and you can only use it with permission from me) as I could and got an upgrade in pay.... This store had more shine on the carpets than it did on the tile floor. So I said YES I will take the store. Then they dropped the other shoe.... They wanted me to get rid of every other employee. there were 8 all together. I didn't really say anything to this hiring and firing was nothing new, but here I would only get the firing part, The regional's did the hiring.

Tomorrow will be pt. 8b Moving/ Saying goodbye

Friday, November 7, 2008

Pt. 7 The lie/the cure/the disease

This should be the shortest post to date, at least that is what I'm thinking. But I don't have this written down anywhere so I never know in tell I put the memories down just how long it will be.

Now for what seemed like for ever I had been wearing braces on my arms. They seemed to help with holding on to things but I think they were more of a crutch than anything else. One night as I was taking them off for bed I noticed I had these two round sores on my left wrist. I didn't really think to much about it and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and I had these same sores every where. There wasn't an inch of space between them. My first thought was scabies! I thought I had got it from the braces....(remember I'm not a doctor). I had skin peeling from my hands and they looked like the were 80 years old. Now did I panic? when hell yes I did but I had an appointment with my Chiropractor that day and he and his Father were both md.'s so I was going to see them and get their thoughts on this dilemma.

When I arrived at the doctors office I kept my coat on and my hands in my pockets. When I was called back in the room my doctor was there and his father was in the room across from me. As he was shutting the door he asked me how I was doing. Now you can ask any one who knows me I have been a smart ass as long as I have been putting words together. So my reply was "Well doc you tell me" and I pulled my hands out of my pockets and showed them to him. He looked at them but didn't seem to concerned, so I did what every smart ass would do I pulled the coat sleeve up on one of my arms and showed him the sores there......still nothing from him, I was puzzled.

He stuck his head out the door and asked his father to step in and take a look. His father comes in and takes about a 2 second look and says you have psoriasis. I asked if it was catchy and he replied well no not really, its an inherited disease, either your mother or your father have it and it was passed down to you from them. He told me what to use and asked if I was under a lot of stress.......I had to stop and think. Lets see I, I have been having this trouble with my arms for over two years, no stress there lets see what else hummm, I'm in the middle of a divorce no stress there, I haven't seen my kid in six months no stress there workers comp has dropped my case and I'm running out of money and taking them to court no stress there. Okay, so I was under a little. He said that stress will bring on an attack like this and I should try to reduce my stress....oh okay I will just do that as soon as I get home......duh.

Okay that was the disease part. now for the cure...but not for the disease.

I was feeling better and things were stating to get back to a normal state, I was making great headway with the grip test and the pain had just about gone away. My doctor asked if I thought I could return to doing some work, and I instantly replied YES! I was going to ask him the same question that day anyway. he released me but warned against returning to wrench bending, he said it was the standing under cars looking up that had caused the trouble and it could be repeated if I did. I was in no way then going back to that line of work. I started looking for work the next day and found a job at a service station pumping gas once again. So I was employed again and back at work just before going to work on my second day I called my doctor, when he got on the phone I called him a liar and he said "What?" "I said "you lied to me!" He wanted to know what lie he had told me and so I ran it down for him. I said "Remember the day of my first treatment, you told me I would be back at work in 2 months" He said "Yes?" I replied "Well its only been a month and a half" and started laughing and so did he. I will never forget this guy he saved my life in more ways than one. But I wasn't done with seeing him I had just gotten to the point I could return to work.

On December 23rd I received my notice that the divorce was final, there was a load off my shoulders. And I was going to be able to see my daughter again. A couple of weeks later I received a call from my other lawyer that workers comp wanted to settle, and had made an offer... I said no to there offer at his advice.
Then a couple days later they made another offer that was to me more fair, All the back pay, all my doctor bills and lawyer fees plus a nice chunk of change for me.
I was due in for my last doctors appointment and was going to have Sarah for the week end, so I went out and bought a used car and planed a big weekend with my kid. I was back and feeling great!.

Tomorrow Pt.8 Moving/ saying good bye

See I told you I never know how long this will

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Pt 6 c the big move (you got to be kidding me!)

So all the way over to the doctors I was trying not to get my hopes up. After all I had seen a lot of them and every one of them had let me down. I get to his office and he has me come in to his real office you know the office he does his paper work in and has me sit down across the desk from him. He looks at what I guess was mt file and asked the strangest question. He asked me how long I have been wearing my shoes? I was puzzled but I told him about 6 mths. He then asked me another strange question. He asked me to put my feet on his desk side by side? So I did, he looked at them then asked me to put them down. He closed the file that was in front of him and said the words I was praying to hear. He said "I know what is wrong with you" I really thought I was going to pass out! Then he said what he thought was wrong with me was carpal tunnel (sound of a needle being dragged across a record) I looked at him and if looks could kill he would be dead right now!. I said I'm sorry but you are wrong I have been tested for that 7 times that is what almost half of the doctors I have seen had said and I have had the shit shocked out of me enough no more testing for that!. He looked at me and smiled, "I'm not running any more test" he said. they were testing your arms, the problem you have isn't in your arms, that's where the symptoms are. "Remember the Logan's test I preformed on you yesterday?" He asked. I said "no" "what is a Logan's test".And he explained what it was, then he said that when he had me pull my arms back as far as I could he took my pulse....I didn't have one in either arm.
He said the trouble was in my neck I was have the nerves sort of pinched and blocked in my neck. Then he told me the only lie he would ever tell me in the time I would be seeing him. He told me I would be back to work in 2 months.... I will not hold this against him.

I don't know if anyone of you has ever seen a really good Chiropractor or not but here is how to tell if you have. I he pulls you pops you or twist you you have not seen a good one and tell him to fuck off and die!!. if he never does more than lay the palm of his hand, or the tips of his fingers. or maybe this little thing that feels like a staple gun with out any staples in on you, you have a good one. The first adjustment he did that day. And I was skeptical to say the least. When I got ready to leave he gave me his card and he wrote his home phone number on the back, as he handed it to me he said "Now if you have any problems just give me a call". I was thinking "problems like what how I'm going to tell my friends about this or what?". But I just said I would and left. I cussed my self and him all the way home.

That night an old friend and I do mean "old" asked me to go to the action with her so she wouldn't have to go alone. I wasn't doing anything and so I went. We had been there for about 45 minutes to an hour when my back started to feel tight.
20 minutes later I could hardly move, and I could not turn my head at all. I made my way to the pay phone and called the doctor. When he heard who it was he said " Oh started to work already huh" I replied "What the fuck did you do?" he said that it would go away and that he was surprised that it had happened like that with the first treatment. So the treatments went on at three times per week.

So as the treatments continued I started getting better and I was really starting to like this doctor.

Tomorrow will be pt. 7 The lie/the cure/the disease

Pt. 6b the big move (WTF Doc)

So all of the test where coming out negative, and every idea was a bust. I had been poked and prodded shot up with dies and radiation, X-Raye ekg'ed cat scanned mri'ed to fucking death. No one had a clue, So workers comp dropped my coverage, and the Doctors told me I would never work again? that set real well with me....NOT!

I went and talked to a lawyer (yes I hate them also) but I now had 2 of them. one working on my divorce and one working on my health. My lawyer that was handling my health spent a couple days going over my medical records, then called me in to his office.
He sat me down and said he was going to take my case. That was not a shock to me... but it was good to hear. He then said he was going to send me to a new doctor... I was puzzled. I had seen the brightest minds in the state and they were clueless, so who was he going to send me to? He told me that this was a different kind of doctor? A chiropractor. I looked at him as if he had just told me he was from mars. I asked him if he had read my file, and was he sure he wanted to send me to a quack!.

He said you just go see him and let him have a look at you, he isn't like most Chiropractors you have heard of. So I wasn't going to lose anything by going so I did. He started running the same damn test they did a OHSU and I was feeling like a fool for even coming. I already knew what he was going to find... NOTHING! just like the others. He then started to do a few things the others had not done. Now let me get this put in your head right, I have been having this trouble for 2 1/2 years I was really tired of the whole thing, being stoned didn't help or hurt so I was stoned for most of this time. All of the doctors said that that would not be a factor and a couple had even said it was probably a good thing, with the pain and stress I was under. Anyway, the new doctor (and yes he was a doctor with a certificate and all) Ran this little white thing with what looked like a spring across it up and down my spin.. that was new. then he had me stick my chest out as far as I could and pull my arms back as far as I could.. They went numb when I did this which was nothing new to me. This test is called a Logan's test, and I will never forget that. Then he sent me home and said he would call me in the morning.... I was sceptical to say the least.

But about 9am the next morning he called and asked me to come in as soon as I could. So I jumped in the car and headed to his office........

And I will tell you the rest of this story tomorrow.
be watching for the big move pt 6c (you have to be kidding me!)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Pt. 6 the big move

My friend Jeff picked me up from the air port and for the next 10 days we all partied and when the wife came home the house was a mess..... and I mean a mess. I thought I was going to have my throat slit in my sleep kind of mess. But she didn't do it as you can see.

The picture above is of us while at my parents house on that trip.

When things settled down from the trip Connie dropped a bomb shell on me......

She wanted to move to Oregon!. That was a real arm twister to get me to agree to that....NOT!. I loved my friends down there but hated it there.So we started making plans to move there. we had some set backs I had changed jobs and other minor things like that so the move didn't come in tell May of the next year.

We rented an apartment in Beaverton Oregon. And I found a job working at a service station. The guy I worked for was a really nice guy, and I still call him friend to this day.

Connie soon found a job working for a phone company and we were doing well. We found a really nice lady to watch Sarah and life was good.

I had moved up to a mechanic at the station and was bringing in a lot more money and we were getting settled in well. When I started having pains in my arms. I was having trouble holding on to things. I remember one thing that really scared me was we had gone grocery shopping and bought a dozen eggs. As I tried to put them in the egg holder in the door I would drop them I couldn't hold on to them. I was in good shape and besides just smoking some pot I was drug free.Then it started getting worse. I was having trouble holding on to heaver things and it got to the point I would not pick Sarah up for fear of dropping her. I would set down and have her crawl up in my lap then wrap her arms and legs around me and I would stand up. She would do all the holding on.... It was killing me. Doctors were trying everything they could think off (which is why I hate doctors to this day) nothing was working and they had no clue what was going on.

While all this was going on Connie and I separated, and I moved 50 miles away to Salem my home town.

Tomorrow pt. 6 b WTF Doc?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Pt. 5b The trip home

Monday, the first full day in Coos bay, Dad, Connie and I were going Salmon fishing. Mom was watching Sarah. My folks had there own boat and that is it behind Connie holding up her First fish ever and still the only Salmon she ever caught. (and yes I even asked her if it was okay to post this) We went out and were fishing by 8:00 am. And we fished and fished with not even a bite. Connie was not feeling real well, not sick bout not her chipper self either. So dad thought a little bottom fishing was in order, get her moving around. He and I both caught some bottom fish but poor Connie was out of luck. So dad was done we had some seals by the boat and that made the bottom fishing stop. (seals eat fish) He said one more trip out to the whistler and we will head in. We fished for maybe 5 minutes on the way to the whistler when one of the poles took off. I took the wheel and dad set the hook and handed to pole to my wife. She was a trooper she had never fought a fish and listened to everything her father in-law said and as you seen in the picture it worked. I must add that it was a cold foggy day but the ocean was flat. but you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.

That night we started planing the next days fishing trip and learned that Connie was not coming with us, so like the good husband I was I went with out her. And for the next 4 days my father and I hit the ocean by 8 and be back at the dock by 12 full limits and sun tans from being out in some of the best fishing weather I have ever had. One trip out my father hooked in to a fish and I was steering the boat, I put the boat in natural and grabbed my pole and started bringing in my line so as to keep it from getting tangled with his and the fish. All of the sudden my line started going out instead of coming in, I had just hooked in to a fish also. So I was fighting a fish, my dad was fighting a fish and the boat was a drift. We would move back and forth across the boat as our fish did their best to get away. When got mine to the boat my father (and I am still in awe over this) he held on to his pole and while fighting his fish netted mine then returned to retrieve his, I netted his and as we went to club them he looked up and the police were of the stern of the boat just laughing there asses off. They had been watching this I guess the whole time and they knew my dad. My dad yelled over and said "Well at least let me tag them before you board?" they just waved and said"That's okay Lloyd we loved the show".

Soon my 10 days were up and it was time for me to head back to Houston......But there had been a change in plans. I would be returning home alone. It seems that my wife and my mother had gotten together and decided that she should stay longer..... That was a big surprise...NOT

Part 6 The big move will begin tomorrow.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Pt 5 A trip home

Now before I jump all the way to the trip we took home I have a couple of story's I should (or want to) tell first.

My mother came down to see her 3rd grand child and meet my wife for the first time. We did a lot of things while she was down, and she was our first baby sitter. We went to NASA while she was there and she still has a Colombia space shuttle magnet on her fridge from that trip. I seen it this weekend and I think I can remember that whole tour we went on there.

Then there was this one night at my best mans apartment we had gotten pretty high and had, had 2 or 3 to many beers. Connie and I (or really it was just Connie's) had this cat. it was the meanest damn cat I had ever seen. It would attack me at night in my sleep.... NOT FUNNY stop laughing. Anyway Jeff and I were out on his front porch, it was on the second story. The EVIL cat was in the middle of the court yard waiting for us to leave so it could walk us (Connie) home. I finished my beer and told Jeff to watch what I did. I tossed the empty beer can as high in the air as I could, not AT the cat just in the general direction. it was silent in tell it hit the ground about 7 feet from the cat, that was not paying attention to us. That cat jumped straight in the air and I swear that cat jumped as high as the porch and Jeff will confirm this when he gets around to reading it.... We laughed or asses of over that and we still talk about it over 20 years later... I guess you had to be there to really understand how funny it really was.....

Now for the Vacation, As I was preparing for the trip home with my family I wanted to get some lose ends tide up. There was some lights on the tennis court that needed to be replaced. It took about 5 or 6 of us to change the bulbs. We had to bring the lights down to the ground by the pivot point and they were so heavy that we would tie a rope through the pivot point and we would all slowly let it down they weighed about 600 lbs all together. on the last one I had the rope ready and asked if the guys were ready they said yes I pulled on the rope and the lights started to come down and I started to go up. I was the only one who had a hold of the rope. I went 15 feet up in seconds I burned my hands so bad they blistered and broke open and went to bleeding. The bad thing is I was going to be going fishing for Salmon while in Coos bay with the folks. I could hardly even move my fingers the next day as we boarded the plan.

We landed in Portland at 6 am, and were met by my oldest sister. We spent the night there and headed to Coos bay on Sunday.

I may continue this later tonight if not I will do it tomorrow. stay tuned for the trip home pt 5 b.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Pt 4C happy day's (the bundle of joy)

So in February My boss had called it a day early for us and asked us workers over for a drink....or two. We were drinking peppermint schnapps' with beer chasers..... we were plastered!. Around 6 that night I had to go, I had a girl friend that was with child and felt I should be home. That night around midnight I was woke by some one pounding on my door like the place was on fire. I opened the door to find a co-worker in shock. He informed me that our boss was dead and had committed suicide. I went with him to his house in time to see the body removed and the mess a 9mm will make when you eat the barrel and pull the trigger. This was the second time I had seen this and I wish it would of been the last. you never get numb to seeing a human body with the life gone!

In May was the wedding, Now all of my family were in Oregon and I was in Houston Texas. My mother gave us the option of either coming down for the wedding or coming down when the baby was born.......We chose the later, and I think she was glad we did. My oldest sister came down for the wedding and was the sloe member of my family to show, but we understood that it was a long way away.

Now I should mention that I was sure that the bundle of joy that was on the way was going to be a boy. And I had already had a name picked out for him "Anthony Lloyd"
But we soon found out it was going to be a "Sarah Nichole".
Those of you who are regular readers of "Ken's blog" will know this from my one year post.

So the wedding went off very well, and my best man was great at making sure I held my self together.... it was close there for a bit. (thanks Jeff). We had a BIG party after words with more beer than anyone should ever have... But I was drinking rum and some how there was a picture of me holding a bud up to my head trying to cool off I think I will try to find that picture was all a blur.

In August Sarah was brought in to the world, I was there for the whole thing and is still the best day in my life and I don't think anything will ever be able to top that. She was born at 3:13 pm after 13 hours of labor. she weigh in at 5lbs. 12.5 oz. 19 3/4 inches long. And was BEAUTIFUL. And she still is.

Next up part 5 a trip home.