Part 15 the begining of the end

Okay, so my wife and I were splitting the sheets, I was frustrated and strung out. I signed the divorce papers and two days later was making a delivery to Canby. I was in my lane of traffic doing the speed limit, when some ass hole thought he would pass the car in front of him. He just failed to see if there was anyone coming at him (I was). We hit head on, I spun around and hit side ways into a telephone pole snapping it off at the ground. When I realised what had happened I got out of my car I was a little dazed but thought I was ok. I hid the meth I was taking to town in a mouse hole that was in the field and waited for the cops to show. Then I started to hurt, and I mean I really was hurting. My right leg was killing me and I looked at it and there was a cut 8" long and about 1 inch wide on it, when I stood back up my ribs on my right side told me I was in trouble. It was an old pain I had felt before. Then I looked at my car and I think that is when I went in to shock (from the pain and the site of the car) The whole front end of the car was smashed in or missing, The passenger side door was all the way in to the drivers seat where I had been sitting. I sat back down and wished I hadn't done that. When the EMT's got there they had to help me stand and then I couldn't move. They had to put the stretcher on me while I was standing. then load me in.

When I got to the hospital the cops were there going through my wallet and found a bag of meth I didn't know I had. Then they drug tested me and gave me a ticket for being under the influence of meth.

The hospital took x-rays and a cat scan and told me I was just beat up nothing was wrong. ( just so you know they are fucking fools) They gave me some pain pills and sent me home. well I don't do pain pills they sent me the wrong way, so I gave them to the guy who picked me up. the next day I was in so much pain I knew they had fucked up when they told me I was just beat up. I could feel My rib snapping every time I took a breath. or blinked! My leg which the hospital never even looked at let alone cleaned, was killing me also. I went to an urgent care and they took x-rays and found 3 broken ribs and a fractured tibia. I was laid up for over a month with this and stayed high for it all. But I wasn't the same, some thing had happened I wasn't happy anymore. getting high wasn't the same thrill it was and hunting it down had lost the thrill also.

So sometime in June or early July of 2002 I was just tired of the whole thing. I woke up one morning and loaded the last bit I had in a bag in to my pipe and melted it. As I watched it crack back in to a solid again I got pissed at myself. I looked over and the sliding glass door was open, I tossed the glass pipe out the door and on to the patio and watched it shatter. As it shattered I seen two things in my mind. I seen what I had become, and what I could be. I seen them at the same time. This is were the term "Cross roads" really comes from. To the left was the path that was dark and troubling, to the right was a place I had never been before and it was a strange and scary road, but one I knew would lead me to where I should be. I floated at this spot for what seemed like an hour but I still remember watching the glass pieces bouncing on the ground. Then it was over! The next thing that happened was the guy I was staying with was asking me what I had done that for. My reply was "I'm done with this shit" I got up and walked away.

Next will be the last of this story I will try to put in all in one post but more than likely it will be two or three. Then I might just get busy and do what this blog is all about!